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Articles
Semper Fi, Buddy
by
George Fleming
12/02/1998
Hackles
were raised at the White House as Buddy the dog found himself
up to his muzzle in yet another pickle. Recently the first
hound, feeling confused and temperamental, lashed out and
bit the hand of a Marine who was on White House helicopter
duty. The soldier's wound required several stitches and he
will later be awarded the Purple Heart.
Buddy's
press agent, Socks the cat, offered candid thoughts about
the incident. "It is obvious that Buddy is feeling the stress
of his owner. What with Chinagate, Filegate, Travelgate, Bimgate
and now Toothgate, Buddy is suffering from that fenced-in
feeling. Tension within the first family has risen to an unbelievable
level. Often this angst and bad vibrations are transferred
from master to mutt via leash."
Other
sources say that Buddy showed his fangs only because he had
not been fed in two weeks. The President was swift to refute
the rumor. "We employ only the finest chefs in the first kitchen
and they can prepare any kibble dish at the drop of a hat.
Sometimes the dog eats better than I do. I know he sleeps
better."
Some
Washington insiders say that due to his aggressive behavior
Buddy may be nominated as poster dog for the Marine Corps,
but this is unsubstantiated.
Suspicion
continues to swirl around Buddy and his alleged
liaison with Monique, an apricot poodle at the French
embassy. Monique is currently shopping a tell-all book. She
is also preparing for a network interview as well as developing
her own line of high fashion designer flea collars.
Buddy
is said to be in good spirits despite his ordeal. Poll numbers
indicate that the first mascot's approval ratings are almost
at the same level as before the biting encounter.
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